Monday, September 19, 2011

Are They Electroshocking the President?!

I am increasingly coming to the impression that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid take Obama once a week to some secret lair.  Once there they must chain him up and plug him into an electrical shock chair.   
Nancy yells “How do you create jobs?” 
Harry goes “How do we close the deficit?” 
Nancy,  “The cure for cancer?!”
Back to Harry “How do stop it from raining?!”
Poor Obama is shocked and shocked until he answers each question correctly.  “Tax Increases” he screams, “Oh God, we need tax increases!”

How else do we explain away this man’s logic?  That is other than tourette's, and I would not dare group people suffering from such an ailment in the same category as our dearly misguided President.  So when I see his latest tax increase on millionaires, the only explanation I can think of is electroshock.   Now, I know that I have lost you guys a bit here, but hear me out.

When you want to curb emissions, stop people from smoking or lesson congestion on the roadways, what does any good liberal and conservative say to do?   Institute a sin tax they yell!  That’s right; we raise taxes and increase the cost of doing that action.  

So when it comes to creating jobs, can the answer really be to raise taxes?!  Take the millionaire’s tax, which comes from the idea that everyone’s favorite, jolly, loveable billionaire, Warren Buffet (I am actually NOT being sarcastic here for once!  Seriously, don’t you want to just run up to him, tickle him and ask ‘Who is everyone’s favorite billionaire?  You are!”), should pay the same effective tax rate as everyone else.  But alas, the capital gains tax isn’t at the same rate as the personal income tax and Mr. Buffet doesn’t get to give away enough money to the government.  - Don’t worry Warren, I can take some of that money off your hands if you want me to!

I am going to skip over the obvious problem that Warren is an exception, and most of the time people invest only after they have paid their income taxes (double taxation).  Instead I will ask a question:  What are we taxing here?  

What Obama wants to tax is 1 part risk, and 1 part public good.  An individual goes and risks a sum of money by buying stock in a company.  The person does this because if his original assumption in that company is correct, the value of the stock will go up.  Now, psst, come closer so I can let you in on a dirty little secret…  Stocks usually only go up when a company is profitable, and when companies are being profitable they usually hire more people (if for no other reason than they need more accountants to hide some of their money from our huge tax burden).   Yet they need those stocks and bonds to get to a place where they are being profitable!

If you raise taxes all you are doing is lessening the reward for someone taking a risk with their money.  More taxes means that rather than get the rewards from an investment, they now must give more of it to Uncle Sam.  As even the most rudimentary knowledge of the supply and demand curve will tell you, this will cause people to stop taking those risks with their money, which would cut off a major source of expansion and funding for companies, which in turn, gets rid of job growth…  

Same principle as a tax on cigarettes, huh?!  So why does he keep yelling “raise taxes” every five seconds?!  That’s right, electroshock, and that’s why I say raise taxes on electroshock treatments!

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